Alternative versions of our blonde jokes

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These are slightly changed version of our blonde jokes. For the original versions click here.

Bottom deodorant

An irish girl walks into a pharmacy in Manhattan and, after some initial hesitation, asks the pharmacist " Could I have a bottom deodorant, please "? "Sorry, we don't sell bottom deodorant" the pharmacist replies, struggling to keep from laughing.

"But I always buy it here", the girl says. "I bought one last month". Thinking quickly, the pharmacist suggests, " I don't know what you bought before, may be you can bring in the empty container next time". "Sure", the girl replies. "I'll bring it with me tomorrow"

The next day, the Irish girl walks into the shop again and hands the pharmacist an almost empty deodorant stick. "This is just a normal deodorant", the pharmacist tells the girl, "You use it under your arms".

 "No, it is not", the girl answers, "it says so here":

"To apply, push up bottom"

First Day

An Irish school teacher started his first job at a primary school and was eager to make a good impression on the kids. So, when he noticed a boy standing all by himself during recess, while the other kids were playing a game of soccer, he walked up to him and asked "Are you alright ?"

The boy assured him everything was fine and the teacher left it at that. A few minutes later, however, he noticed that the boy was still standing alone and had not joined the other boys.

Deciding to find out what was wrong this time, the teacher approached him again and said, " Hi, are you sure you're not feeling left out? Would you like me to be your friend ?" 

The boy obviously felt a little embarrassed, but after a little hesitation said, "Maybe". Encouraged by his progress, the teacher asked, "Tell me, why are you standing here alone?"

"Because", the boy said with clear exasperation in his voice. "I am the goalie"

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